Editor’s Note: Asiago and the Accomplice (Whine & Cheese Cozy Mystery Series) by Judy Volhart is now available. Click here to order your copy.

My search for Cat’s Pee on a Gooseberry Bush has ended. Not successfully, I may add. It turns out that this particular wine is no longer available in the province I live in. Alas, I will not have the opportunity to taste Cat’s Pee, although an old school chum of mine kindly offered to scoop some out of her litter box for me. Smart ass.

The wine that caught my eye this week (from my growing collection) was Guilty Men, a Canadian wine from the Niagara Peninsula, a region that is peppered with a plethora of vineyards that I hope to visit one day. Their website is practically begging me to go, with tempting words such as “visit the winery for tastings, tours and events”.

This red wine from 2014 is described as it having a nose that infers plum, raspberry, nutmeg, juniper and forest floor. Nose? Forest floor? Okay, I never said I was an expert, nor do I pretend to be, so what do these fancy terms really mean? And does it really matter? After a glass, I decided not. So what did I get out of it, in plain English terms? It smelled nice and fruity, and tasted good. Not overly strong. A bit of an earthy or musty flavor (not in a bad way), that I think might be what this forest floor reference is about.

via Judy Volhart

I was excited to plate my cheese, since I’d bought a new platter for the occasion. It photographs beautifully, doesn’t it?

via Judy Volhart

Excitedly, I sliced the Edam cheese and a baguette, but couldn’t locate the bat of salami that I’d stashed in the fridge; some hungry teenagers had gotten to it first. No worries, we still had enough for a nice appetizer.

via Judy Volhart

I’m rather embarrassed to admit that I was surprised by how mild the Edam was. Embarrassed because the packaging clearly states it’s a mild cheese so there really was no guesswork involved. In my defense, I simply hadn’t noticed. It was extremely mild, so anyone who’s afraid of strong cheeses (like me), this is a tasty safe bet. Next week, I promise to eject myself from my comfort zone and to try something crazy like a Blue Cheese. Okay, wait, maybe not that crazy. That’s just extreme.

Cheers, my friends.

“Happy New Year everyone! Let me show you to a table. Thank you for coming again; you were here once before, I believe?” I realized I was rambling but couldn’t stop myself and I felt myself flush furiously so I continued, barely giving them a chance to settle down. “What would you like to drink?”

Matt hesitated before speaking: “Yes, we were here before. I had a great wine that night, but I can’t remember what it was. What do you recommend?” he asked with a glint in his eye and with a voice that seemed to stroke my skin gently. Well, it stroked something, anyway.

Normally I love this question, but I was not able to tell him what I had in mind. How about a nice red Well Hung? I mentally snorted to myself. Or how about Guilty Men? Or Pro-Mis-Q-ous? Instead, I said sweetly, “How about a little Monogamy?” He blinked in surprise before murmuring, “Yes…yes, that sounds absolutely perfect.” I later brought him a second, possibly putting it down in front of him a little too brusquely, and his eyes snapped up to bore into mine. I blushed, realizing I was acting like a jealous girlfriend when really I was…well, I was just simply his server. His and his new girlfriend’s server…

—Excerpt from Asiago and The Accomplice (Whine & Cheese Cozy Mystery Series)