Under One Roof, co-authored by Emily K. Graham, Angel L. Vargas, and John L. Graham, explores the challenges and unexpected benefits of multigenerational living, offering practical insight into caregiving, housing, healthcare, and family relationships in today’s modern American household. Below is an excerpt from the book.

Chapter 1

Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.—Groucho Marx

This is a book about families – in particular, families that are taking inventive approaches to coping with the stresses of our changing society. Our focus in this introductory chapter is on how families manage the deteriorating health of a member. Some families handle things well and some don’t. Of course, one popular option is placing our infirm elders in assisted living facilities.

Now we appreciate that some of you have had the good fortune to have never visited a nursing home. We want to change that. Before you read another page in this book, we have a little homework assignment for you. Call up the nicest nursing home in your area and ask for a tour. The easiest way to find one is to go to the website https://www.medicare.gov/care-compare/?providerType=NursingHome&redirect=true, input your zip code, and hit Search. You can also narrow your Search on the website by price and needs if you like. Contact information is listed as well as consumer evaluations. But nothing will be as informative as your own visit…

We expect the typical reader of this book to be a member of the postwar baby-boom generation, aged 60 to 75, or so. Folks already into their 60s and 70s will find immediate uses for this book as well. Or perhaps you’re one of their kids? We’re going to address our comments mostly to the older folks facing retirement during the next decade. But, for you sons and daughters of baby boomers, there’s much here, too.

Chapter 2

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. – George Burns

On this topic humor is important to have around for a couple of reasons. First, a little levity will help us all get through the rather serious adjustments we’ll be making to our family lives during the next decade. Second, we know that humor is an important tool for stimulating creative thinking. So, while we very much appreciate the Burns’ and Brault’s quips above, we must say that the folks we have interviewed for our book hold very different views than theirs. Herein we report the stories of scores of American families that have invented ways to live together that serve the fast-changing needs and constraints of our 21^st century society. Their stories are about locating close by one another to work together creatively and cooperatively, rather than just dividing things up.

The popular press began to take notice about ten years ago. The burgeoning elder population with their inevitable infirmities and failing finances, and pension systems, the care of children in households where both parents work fulltime, and the volatility of employment and housing markets are the most obvious challenges facing Americans today. Increasingly multigenerational living arrangements are being made wherein creativity in the design of structures and interaction patterns are reinvigorating extended family relationships. The purpose of our book is to stimulate your own inventiveness as you work through the particular challenges facing your family in these tough times.

Chapter 3: A Verbatim From Our Interviews

Jim: The best solution for us was to build on the property, and it was much cheaper than any of the other options. A rented apartment would have just been throwing money away. Whereas, with the improvement to our property, the appraisal value is now double what we paid for the house three years ago. It made the most sense financially and she doesn’t have to drive to come see us. She can walk across the yard. It all worked out for the best. We’ve given her her own space and privacy. We enjoy our privacy and still have a family between us.

Christine: It is important to me for Katie to have easy access to Madeline because she is the only grandparent that lives anywhere close. I want their relationship to grow and develop. The mail sits on our counter until Katie comes home from school every day. I have Katie take it out to Madeline, so that they can visit with each other, even if it is only a two-minute exchange. Madeline does a lot of cooking. She can tell her stories that I don’t know. Our perspective is that it has been great to give Katie that other generation’s sense of family. I think looking down the road twenty years, eventually Madeline’s health won’t be as good. It will be a lot easier to have her just out back, than to drive ten miles up the road to take out the trash or bring her dinner. It is perfect.

Chapter 7

When you begin the process of deciding what type of housing to use for extended family living. Once you’ve made the decision to live together with family members, there are a variety of ways you can do so. Options include houses with ADUs, duplexes, townhouses next-door, two or more condos in the same building, family compounds, or cohousing developments. Certainly, houses next-door, behind, or across the street from each other, as well as those a few blocks away can also work.

Chapter 13

Bill: My wife and I enjoyed a few short years of three-generational living in a two-flat house in Chicago. We occupied the first floor. Our daughter and husband and our two grandchildren lived above us. We sat around the same dinner table every night. Those were the happiest, richest, and most rewarding years of our lives.

We wish such days for you!

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